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Night Sky

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I opened my eyes, I'm amazed by His creation.
I'm lost gazing at immense of the sky
the astonishing beauty of the stars 
inside this very moment everything shrinks in

we're laying down in this grassland
I hope everything is alright
as we watch the night sky fades in
we're telling stories of our past

Head to head, she's beside me
I'm listening to her voice as she spill her story
everything seems to stop
it appears that someone pause the motion everywhere

In the calmness of the sea
In the kiss of the night
here we are laying on the ground
forgetting the world

we're not the only one here
but it looks like we're
in a snap, silence was brought in
It's good to know
It's good to feel
that I have her. 

does she feel the same?
Is she glad to have me?
Or this is single way?

I'm not sure
what I know now is
I'm with her
and the stars are wonderful

//You're My Shooting Star! ♥

It's about Jesus!

The essence of trusting Him

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I'm walking in a path which I don't exactly know where would lead me
I'm just trusting Him, I know its hard, I'm unsure but I have to believe. sometimes I doubt Him because it seems like every step that I make there's pain and everything, its hard to walk forward and move on. only my faith in Him keeps me going, I know He supplies the strength and the courage.

empowerment, that's what I need now, He surrounds me with awesome people! thank Him.

well, this is not my story. this is His Story.


It's about Jesus!


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I am nothing. I am pathetically weird. No one understands me sometimes.
I am worthless. I am dumb. I am a shameful being.
I can't do anything. I can't even stand on my own.
I am imperfectly cruel. meanly damaging.
dreadful, frightful, terrifying.

We, sometimes think about our worth and who we are.
No one can say that the're good enough.
and we fall on the bottomless pit of the unknown
screaming like it's the end

what amazes me is when He reminded me of how precious am I
in His eyes. He took off my unrighteousness and He gave His righteousness to me
He not only paid the price. Its OVER-PAYMENT.

How come I can think negatively?

Few days ago, I shared it to my friend. As I share it. I can't stop myself.
I keep saying words that might encourage her.
It's out of the topic we used to share but I keep on scrolling on my script

out of the sudden, I struggle saying the word OVER-PAYMENT.
I bowed down. I don't want her to see me crying.
yes. I cried. that stopped me from sharing
"Jabes, 'wag kang umiyak"

I wiped my tears. look to nowhere.
and then I continued my interrupted words.
the rest? I don't know. I can hardly remember what happened next.

I guess that's the first time she saw me crying.


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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Low-volume music is playing on my background
some sort of a sad love song
it pushes me to write something
so here am I having a wrestle with words

confused with the melody and symphony
the beat, the bass, the spirit.
I can see the music around me
trying to lift me up with wonders and astonishment

it flips up the scenery of yesterday
and the desire of my future
filling up the tank I used to empty
pre-occupied, reserved, until it's gone.

and I need to be next to you
everything is under control
under my mind
the plan is working out
so much prepared

this good euphony energized my heart
endowing the ticker inside me
say hello to the end of the tune
it may be the best part of the song

but no need to worry
I have my playlist
to back me up! 

//Stars In The Sky

It's about Jesus!


Saturday, April 20, 2013

What happened today.

*Picked Up Food at Jollibee
*DVBS Graduation
*DVBS Teachers and Staff meeting
*BESMO meeting
*Festival Bonding
*South Sector KKB Meeting
*Good News and Bad News

Daily Vacation Bible School
from Monday up to today. We have this DVBS at Church. teaching children about God.
It's tiring. and we have to get up in the morning just to attend the DVBS. I enjoyed being with the kids, although they give us headaches sometimes. their smiles and laughs and what they do somehow give pleasure in our hearts.

I only assist the teachers and I'm in charge in technical stuffs.
there are many things that i can share about what happened but I can't forget what Mary Ruth did.
Last Tuesday I played with them before the schooling starts, pulling their lollipop off their mouths pretending that I want one. I had fun with them. and then the next day as I went to church she handed me a lollipop. aww. i found that sweet! :))

Today, I went to Jolibee with denise to pick up the foods Teacher Ligaya ordered so we will have a food to eat during the graduation of the children. it was amazing. being part of that event. I'm also blessed by the Children who participate in the DVBS. I thank God for their lives.

After the Graduation, the teachers called for a meeting. we thank God for His Grace and wonderful work. we're now planning for outing. I'm not sure but it may be at Batangas (matabungkay or Anilao). some suggest at EK or splash Island or tagaytay. I hope it'll be at Anilao and overnight. I'm longing for stargazing.

After the Meeting with Children's Ministry, Bro. Orly talked to us regarding BESMO and SOL stuffs. just a short meeting.

and then, Charlie and Denise and I went to Festival to buy and search for something. I'm so hyper as we went to the mall. later we're so quiet. haha. weird.

the KKB South Sector Meeting about the Walang Iwanan Street Party at Dasma, Cavite. we held the meeting at JIL Pamplona. its great to be with the team. :D

there are Good News and Bad News. I received text messages about good news regarding examinations and licences. so proud of KKB Muntinlupa. but on the other side there are also bad news. I feel burdened and there's an urge for me to act like a leader, a kuya, a mentor or something like that.
though I lack wisdom. I ask God. He provides and He will provide.

All For His Glory!
Nahihirapan man, kahit pa NASUSUGATAN.


All about her

Coffee Float and French Fries Match Up

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Yesterday, I have a long conversation with a friend. it happened that both of us will buy some stuffs for different activities we're in. so, we go shopping together in a mall. hmm..  where else? XD

We stepped in that shopping mall and search for all the things we need. we only stay in bookstore for about 15 - 20mins, I think? then, we both ask each other if we should stay and do something in the mall or go home early.

we're thinking of staying and eating. so we did. 
we placed the stuffs that we bought in a long table inside the children's party area.
We've planned for our orders. it takes time for us to finalize our meal.

we bought Coffee Float and Medium Fries from paparapapap.. Love ko 'to. 
while table is at mess because of our things. we begun to eat.
we faced each other and start the chat.

I don't know how it starts but it probably starts with a question, I guess?I shared about me, what I see, what I feel, what I realize, what I believe in.I shared my disappointments, my burdens, my discouragements, my heartaches and pain?she shared about hers, her version of mine or..

I don't know how it starts but it probably starts with a question, I guess?
She shared about her, what she sees, what she feels, what she realizes, what she believes in. She shared her disappointments, her burdens, her discouragements, her heartaches and pain?
I shared about me, my version of her's.

We just giggled and munch.
We just laugh and sip.
We just shared and dip.

we begun lightly and went much deeper as we talk about a book.
we also discuss about today's issues and updates in both of our lives.
mostly, we talked about our feelings for each other. I mean, our feelings, although at 1st we're finding ways on how we will start of conversation and we have this reservation and don't want to talk about deeper things it just happened that there's an urge to tell something and speak what's in our hearts. there's this excitement that we feel.

I guess that was the first 1 on 1 + heart to heart + longest talk we had together.
although we forgot to do the "I swear/I promise" handshake our specific topics such as place and/or person will stay only inside that Mall's McDonald's.

Its a really long talk. that we're shocked that the night caught us having a coffee together.
See how the Coffee Float and French Fries make us stay in the restaurant?! HAHA!

that's the highlight of my day.

I feel blessed to have her. 



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'Di ka okay!

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

di makausap
walang imik..

kararating ko lang ng bahay..

Bago ako kumaen
bago ako magbihis ng pambahay
uupo muna 'ko sa aking trono
paglalaruan ang mga salitang lumalabas sa 'king isipan
bubuksan ang listahan ng mga kanta 
at magpapatugtog ng paboritong musika
na tumutugma sa nararamdaman ko ngayon.

parang buong araw na rin akong nag-iisip
kaya siguro pagod na pagod rin ako.
nakipagtalo, halos nakipag-away. di ko alam ung tama pa ba ko.
minsan naiisip ko, wala na ba 'kong ginawang tama?

puro maling disisyon, maling galaw
maling kilos, maling gawi

tapos nag-usap kame.
ilang bagay na di naman malaking bagay pero lumaki.
nakatanggap ako ng iba't ibang mensahe at kaisipan
binara, nabara, nambara.
ano pa kayang silbi nito?

nakakaoffend, nakakaasar.
di dahil mali ang sinasabi sakin.
ngunit dahil sa tumpak na punto ng paghayag ng saloobin
naaasar sa sarili.

ilang ulit din ang pagtatanong
ang pagtaas ng boses
ang kunot ng noo
ang pagtahimik
nakanganga na para bang mag-isa lang kame sa isang kwarto

ilang oras na lang at matatapos na ang araw.
may mga tao talagang ang lakas mag-paiyak
o sadyang ako lang ang napapaiyak?

mahirap man dalhin
pinanindigan ko na rin
di ko nadepensahan ang sarili ko e
pero mahalaga pa ba yun?

bigla nalang nya ko kinausap
binasag nya ang katahimikan
inalok ng pag-kain
kinulit at kinuwentuhan
na para bang walang nangyare

ilang minuto nalang ang nalalabi
inabot nya ang kanyang kamay
tinitigan ako sa mata
mata sa mata
ilang segundo rin yun
nakita nya kaya ang namumuong luha sa'king mga mata?

ako, nakikita ko na totoo ang kanyang paglapit
ngunit sa pagabot ko ng aking kamay
tska naman ibinaba ang kanya
nanghinayang, gusto ko na lang sana syang yakapin

okay naman sya, pero ako? 
bakit ganito?
di ko masabi yung sa part ko?
pero tulad nga ng sabi ko
importante pa ba yun?

naghiwalay na lang kame ng di ko sya nakausap ng maayos
"Di ka Okay." sabe ng isa kong kaibigan.

di makausap
walang imik..

kararating ko lang ng bahay..

Bago ako kumaen
bago ako magbihis ng pambahay
uupo muna 'ko sa aking trono
paglalaruan ang mga salitang lumalabas sa 'king isipan
bubuksan ang listahan ng mga kanta 
at magpapatugtog ng paboritong musika
na tumutugma sa nararamdaman ko ngayon.

magiging maayos kaya ang bukas?



She's Got A Boyfriend Now

Saturday, April 06, 2013

She's been in my heart since we were kids.
Elementary days, from strangers to classmates to seatmate.
I have a crush on her since the first day I stepped in that school.
she's smart, kind and cute.

as far as I can remember, she's my first puppy love. 
I kept that feeling for so long.
it became serious when we became schoolmates in our new school
we tease each other as freshmen
as time flies by we rarely talk to each other 

but that's not important for now
She got a boyfriend now
If I'm not mistaken
that's her first boyfriend

they look good together
and I'm happy for her
they're so cute!



Please Lang

Friday, April 05, 2013

I browse your photos on facebook, it seems like I'm a stalker.
I know you're happy now, seeing someone else, having fun
You already moved on, but I'm here, still suffering for what supposed to be forever

I just wanna hide in the shadows of the past
I hope no one can see me but I wanna explode
I still love you, beyond words can say
but do you still love me?

I'm trying to let go and move forward
I want to live my life
I can't say you ruin everything
but you have a huge participation of this loneliness that I feel

stop flirting with me
stop digging our past
stop talking to me
after you say its over, it must be. right?

You've hurt me enough
I've lost my trust in you
even though I still love you
and I still long for your touch
still yearning for your attention
We are never ever getting back together
as in never.
it may not be now but I'll get over you.



Bro. Eddie for Senator

Friday, April 05, 2013

I am one of the Youth Coordinator in campaigning for Bro. Eddie.
together with Kaibigan Ko si Bro Community.. we want a man like Bro. Eddie in the senate.

we can't afford to lose! 



Ang taong gusto kong makasama forevur.

Friday, April 05, 2013

Today, I have this conversation with one of my new best friends. we talked about many things, particularly the crazy ones. and he asked me a question, one weird question..

"Sino ang gusto mong maging asawa..
"Sino ang gusto mong makasama habang buhay..
Among them?. "

I'm not sharing this to bring chills to your bones, I'm sharing this if I she's still the one that I'd choose when time passed by. 

So, I told him "maarte ako, matagal ko bago sagutin yan". It makes me think, its a tough question although I have an answer in my head. I let him guess and pick out random names of females that he know. We giggle on every names. HAHAHA! 

"si ano.."
"kase.. alam mo yun, nasa kanya na kase ang lahat.."

we sung..
♫nese ye ne eng lehet.. oh oh ohohohh.♫
then we laugh again.

what a evening it was.



Thursday, April 04, 2013

It is hurtful to know that pain is inevitable while we're here on earth.

in our kindness and care for our love ones, sometimes we want save them before they're totally drowned in sadness and negative emotions. but we're just humans, hurting in another way, experiencing pain on the other side. what can we do? 

As a shoulder to cry on, seeing a friend repeatedly crying in pain brought by a tricky world is annoying but knowing that you don't know anything about the pain they feel is another story. we must understand what they're going through. without judgement.

and searching for a solution is quite hard, giving an advice seems like "just saying" words. they said that YOU, being there is enough even all you do is to listen, stare and just say "uh huh."

I was inspired writing this by the song "Messiah" by Yeng Constantino
it talks about us, as creation of God and knows nothing about what other really feels inside and our limitations as humans.
we get angry, sulks, grumble but we still long to know what they feel.
and to get them out of there which in some circumstances, we can't.
we need someone who really saves. a Messiah. which we are not.

Pasensya na di ako makangitiUmiinit ang ulo palagiDi kita maintindihanGusto kitang maintindihanPasensya na kung ako ay tulalaNakatunganga wala akong magawaGusto kong mang may magawaWala akong magagagawa 
Sasagipin kitaKung kaya ko lang sanaPero di ako MessiahPero di ako Messiah 
Papsensya na di nakakatulongSinasabi sayo’y parang bulongDi mo ako naririnigWala ka na ngang naririnig 
Unti-unting mararating mo rinAng bawat mong mga hinihilingHabang nasa malayo, papanalangin kitapapalayain ka..


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Tuesday, April 02, 2013

I want to be honest in this post.
I love blogging, but somehow I'm not comfortable anymore. In sharing my thoughts, feelings and stories on the web. its seems like there's something that's going to happen that can 'cause issues about anything. because sometimes I'm not aware of what I post.
though I can hide this site or change its URL or delete this permanently if I wanted to. but no. I will not.

this blog keeps track for milestone or craziest stuffs that's happening in my life. I enjoy posting photos and messages with or without sense. this is my blog. duh?. but there is really something that I feel about my blog, I share. people read it. and interpret it.

I wish for more blogs this month.
oh! this is none sense! hahaha!
but I love the way how my blog plays a trick on someone's head.

April! :D

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