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Time for drama.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

I always have this time to think about my life's drama. A very special time for my thoughts to freely think of what it shouldn't think about. I always do it on my bedroom and of course lights off and pillow on my face.

But now?! I'm running out of time. I'd rather play games to unwind than to entertain those thoughts. But to be honest, sometimes I enjoy entertaining those thoughts. They gave me glimpse of possibly the worst. And also a quick evaluation about myself.

I thought is there something about me that is lacking?!

Or is this something weird. I have tons of thoughts that I want to share.

Too many things that I'm afraid of and makes me idle.

I want to runaway at times.

And yeah playing games gave me a runaway but God is still the one we should be running to, surely I'll have and you'll have comfort.



//sebajisoka

All about her

One Sick Love Story

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Few months ago, I've prepared a script for a monologue to be performed to a small group of people. Or maybe just one. I've spent time in thinking and typing the right words. It has been modified for many times. From a simple one liner to a paragraph that seems endless. I don't even realized it until.. I realized it. Briiight.

I've made different scripts for different situation for her different response. Just to make sure I'm ready. I even memorized and keep in my heart this pretty moving line by my good friend, Augustus Waters. (Then, my  brother told me I'm a hopeless romantic. HAHA for this.). I tried performing on the office with my closest office mates and yes, they make fun of my crazy line. Someone even took a video of it, she said that she'll put in on Facebook. 

Days passed by, I didn't know. I didn't know that this day will come to pass. That all of these scripts are crying saying that they needed to be sent, to the rightful recipient, her. Through the wireless connection, a simple tease and then we met. In a place where lights are popular and people are all around. We sat and talk. 

I opened my mouth for this special line that I got for her. but it leaved me speechless. No line has been spoken, no feeling has been burst out and no revelation has been made. I went home with a huge disappointment, I thought I'm confident about it. Where are those strong feelings that made me smile every time I thought about it.

There's a second attempt. No hope.

But the third?
Well, she's already knowledgeable about it, she just wanted to hear the script that I've been thinking about all those time. She starts listening to my excuses and my craziness on the jeepney on the way to their home. It's been few minutes of talking and I realized that I haven't say anything about it, I'm shy, then I breathe deep. I not ready, but I need to say it. I informed her about all the links to the script and even mentioned some drama as a coat to the next lines.

Dark sky and cool winds, street lights and teary-eyes. I can't breathe good enough. I hear trucks and motor-noises. They're crying as my heart speak out. And I reached the time. An imperfect timing, I look into her eyes and I said..

"Uhm.. *sigh* I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things, I'm in love with you and I know that love is just a shout into the void and that oblivion is inevitable and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day that all our labors has been returned to dust and that the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever had and.. I'm in love with you."

In between, my lines are breaking. My eyes seems like a light bulb. and my voice is shaking, I don't know how I looked like nor my delivery sounds like but.. I'm glad I did it. 

"Uhm. 89%"
O.O


//OneSickLoveStory
//sebajisoka

Work? Work!

When It's avail

Thursday, August 21, 2014

When It's avail..
we chat a little. 
we tell jokes and life experiences.
we share stories on wattpad  and videos on youtube.
we laugh harder and find activities to keep ourselves unstressed. 
we also

play RBI Baseball online (Specially on OT, keeping myself busy) 
going online through Facebook (Which we lost access now)
tweeting like no one's watching
sending SMS to loveones. ♥
eating chips and pizzas.
Stalking Against The Current and Chrissy Coztanza. OMG!!!
Listening to our favorite music
Do blogs.
Read articles.
9Gagging.
Checking the Que. 
Playing with avaya.
Playing Dota on the corner. Heyaah Dota Boys and Girls. This is for you! XD

We keep ourselves with the intimacy and fun that we can offer to relieve the stress. It's our Anti-stress campaign. Yeah. It's stressful to hear the same complaints and those *** words from the customer, that's why it's a great relief from us when hearing the customer that they/appreciate the help. I understand their frustration by the way. But it's kinda, stressful when it's on repeat.

Well, God is still good.
He keeps me going. 

Thank you, Lord. :D

//WhenItsAvail
//sebajisoka


All about her

Unresponsive

Thursday, August 21, 2014

I thought that I'm the only one, saying sorry to the things unresponsive, to books, to fictional characters, social networks and blogs.

I read someone's journal, this time with permission and this is the first time, I have a journey through the thoughts and it feels like reading a book which I found out that I'm one of the characters. It feels amazing and satisfying although I'm not the main character. The thoughts inside were capturing, breathe-taking and irresistible.

Yeah. Those thoughts about me makes me feel special. 
It' makes me wanna cry. HAHA!

And yeah. I'm sorry about you, my little buddy blogger.
I'm kinda busy and I post rarely.
I'll make bawi. soon


//unresponsive
//sebajisoka

All about her

May I hold your hand?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

We're walking slowly together, in the escalated level of this unpopular mall. With words uttered and thoughts shared.  I made a request in relate to the subject. 

"May I hold your hand?!" 
She asked me why. 
I said "I'm just going to try something and ask something afterwards." 
"Sure." She said as she stretch out her right hand towards me. 
I paused. Split seconds. For a follow up on the request. Hearts beating faaast. 
"I mean" I sigh. "like holding hands, filling the empty spaces in between?!"  

*Insert random face right about here* 

I opened up my left hand face up. 
Looking into her innocence. Waiting for her response. She smiled and quickly she put her hand on mine.  

At that moment. I heard drum beats on my chest in sequence to my heavy breathing. 
 In a snap. It's all gone. 
She said It's awkward.

but that scene never leaved me.


//Glimpse
//sebajisoka

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