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Sunday, November 30, 2014

I woke up late, unlike my previous birthdays. I woke up at 9am with an alarm from my phone. I rushed into the bathroom and start preparing for my take off. As usual, Mom and Dad and my little brothers greeted me first. They asked for my plans though they already knew that I'm on a date for today.

Before leaving the house. People on the computer shop shouted at me singing the famous birthday song. I runaway without a response since I don't know how to. with them. I arrived at Starmall at 11am and starts walking around. After an hour I rode a bus on the way to Megamall. It should be on BGC, SM Aura or Bonifacio High Street but I witness this rain, so megamall. 

It feels like forevur when on the bus. I talk to the one of the most important person in my life. Sharing this little moment with me and lending me some influences that shape characters. Defensively saying about the gift that I'm not thinking for this moment 'cause It's not about me. It's about something else.

Talk after talk, and walk after walk. I know it's late for lunch and it's 3pm. Ordered some Chicken and rice with some vegetable and the lovely pizza. Starts praying for the food and for the day and finished everything in an hour. There's a 'keep the change' on the bill and then bid the farewell.

Starts losing the mind on the huge mall. Don't know what to do or where to go but.. The day continues. Thinking of a movie but end up in amusement to sing songs however there's no vacant cubicle. My head spins and circulated around the mall. It's not much of a birthday-day. You know, but it's something to be cherished. Specially, ending the day with this milk tea. Banana Milk Tea.

I start responding on some SMS. Thanking them for the greetings and exchanging teases. It's a lovely day. You don't know what I have here in my mind and my heart. I rode the bus going home. On a roadtrip wishing for someone that I can hold. Someone that will stay with me hand in hand.

It was the longest rode trip evur for a reason. Another weird thing to celebrate my day in a mall doing nothing. You may think that I'm this loner type and forevur alone guy. but believe me, I'm happy and contented. Because I got all I need. From the bag, to the books, to the poloshirt and from the love that He gave to me. His personal love for me. #ThankYouEDFjLKUIHaLKUJBHsAYSDLASKDH

The next day, there are tons of unlimited greetings from my friends at church. All my moms and dads and brothers and sisters around. Handshakes, hugs and waves. From pen and loombands. They're awesome. The worship. The preaching. The groupings. I felt. Love. There might be imperfection but look at the good things. Yeah. 

The service ends and I know I won a battle and a bet. I'm sooo happy. :)
I went home with an unexpected but familiar gift. Last year, Mom's friend gave me a cake. Today, same gift but different giver. #ThankYouMaila 
And mom and dad bought me the all time favorite spaghetti and pancit plus the other all time favorite, her very own caldereta. #ThankYouMamaAndDaddy

Well, some dreams and wishes do come true. And it escalated quickly. I didn't noticed it. And crack this one. Decode it all. Thank you sooo much Lord. :D


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21 and It's fading

Sunday, November 30, 2014

November 28, 2014

Today, I shamefully break the streak. I noticed that there's always a church gathering whenever my birthday is coming. It's either on a day before or the day itself. So many times, I celebrate my day in the church. Just like today, we have a Night of Worship that I failed to be a part of. I went to Starmall and Festival Mall to buy some stuff for the day to make my self look guapo, I stroll around the mall to fill this unknown emptiness. 

I feel sad for not knowing what I want and what to do. I don't feel that my day is approaching and it's not totally me. Because I have this tons of preparation for my birthday starting the 1st day of my birth month like planning what to do or blogging all day and all month long. I don't know why am I like this. 

I went home with this sadness that cannot be translated to tears. No, it can't be. And then, I put my bag down and the pack of the thing that I bought. I changed my clothes and feel nothing. A null and regrets starts flashing over me. Then I found myself on a nap.

I come up against the day. From late night to the next day. I received SMS and a party on my Facebook timeline. I know it finally came. Then I sleep. 'cause I have a date tomorrow with someone, important. 


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Friday, November 28, 2014

Do you love video games?! Computer Games? Console? Tablet? Phone?
You may categorize yourself as a gamer, a 9gagger or a nerd. But I realized something in my way of playing games that I can relate to my life or my view towards life or my characteristic towards life or skills towards life or.. Neh. You know what I mean.

So, I'm going to share from the most controversial game that even teachers, parents and the church is aware: Defense of the Ancient also known as Dota

Wait. wait. wait.. Some of you might be thinking "Kristyano Nagdodota?" I quit playing the game some years ago. Though I sometimes, get into the game when some friends categorize it as a form of bonding, I play. (with lots of enforcement towards my being). Maybe one of the reason that they prohibit the game for some people is not because of the game being evil or something but being strongly attached to it and be addicted to it (that even some girlfriends favorite song is Dota o Ako while they're thinking about the status of their relationship with their Dota Player partner). It costs time and money and school and the future if not prevented. 

By the way, My PC games is either Tetris Battle, The Sims or NBA 2k Series and some other non-popular games. 

My favorite hero in Dota is either Rikimaru, Drow Ranger, Broodmother.

Riki 'cause I love hiding, I want to be invisible as I run around. I don't want to be notice. That I'll choose when to show up. I'm unheard. But the best thing about 'being' Riki is he's a late gamer. That even though I messed the start of the game, If I stick to a better plan of changing ways, I can be indestructible and win the game all the way.

Drow Ranger as the simplicity. Normal attack and he passive skills.

Broodmother, 'cause my favorite hero is Peter Parker, the Tobey Maguire Version 'cause I haven't seen any of The Amazing Spider-man. Yeah. Because Broodmother is a spider and she can hid to the webs and come back as hungry and powerful.

Neeh. I just want to post something today. HAHA! :D 


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Birthday Wish

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

I really don't have a birthday wish for this year. I'm satisfied? content? because if it's material thing, I don't 'actually' need anything more. I have lists of wants but I'd rather stick to the things that I NEED. And just to let you know, I am Bilingual in regards to my love language. It's Receiving Gifts and Words of affirmation, I told you that for a reason, that is, I sometimes base my presents to the person's primary love language. 

Here's my Birthday Wish.

Be Wise. I pray that I'll be wise with my decision. With all of them, in little ones and huge ones. Like purchasing some clothes or food. In saving money and managing the events within my 24 hours. 

Be Disciplined. I guess this will go with being wiser. Yeah. I'm not well disciplined. So, I'll push myself and train myself to be well disciplined.

Sticking to the goals. For many times in my life, I set aside my goals. Now, there's no time to lose. I'll be sticking to my goals and be the best that I can be. Finishing school? Pursuing dreams. Publishing a book? Starting a business? One by one. Little by little. I'll stick to those goals. Yey Me. 

An Awesome Life with my family.

Yes. ♥

Intimacy with God. Going back to His presence. Building relationship with Him because honestly, and it's sad to say that my spiritual life lessen down. My have my choices and my guilt is eating up my inside. So, my goal is this. To have an intimate relationship with God. That I'll be more passionate of Him, and nothing can shake this faith that I have. I know it will take time and sacrifice but I'm willing. 

I don't know if you can call that a wish but as I type this. I feel like I'm growing up. Yey. I'm maturing somehow. HAHA! Anyway, I'll keep it all into my list of my thoughts and pray over it. So, there you have it my birthday list for my 22nd brithday.

But wait. if you're kind enough to give me a present, my birthday wish will be still last year's. LOL.



No Shave November

Monday, November 24, 2014

No shave November is all about cancer-awareness. According to it's "Simple. No-Shave November is a unique way to raise cancer awareness. What better way to grow awareness than with some hair? Show your support and give back.", So it's something like, the Ice Bucket Challenge. Well. I'm participating, though I don't have $10 to contribute but, I have a heart for this. My grandparents, my dad's side, both died of lung cancer. It was a painful journey for young Jabes, specially they are the only grandparents I grew up with. They are my runaway from my mom and dad when they're angry to what I did.  

Anyway, no shave November makes me look like a caveman. A one-handsome-caveman-living-in-a-modern-world. Though my mustache grows rapidly in every direction and my beard is split up for there's no unity within it.


Work? Work!

My Great Escape

Sunday, November 23, 2014

This may sound silly and pathetic but the ramp down for me speaks for FREEDOM, from Bosses and obligations. It gives me some time to think and be myself again. Because I don't feel like ME. I need to take a break. A pretty long break. because seriously, working with a job that you don't actually love stress you out. You put much effort for a thing that didn't matter to you. You sacrifice your health, time for your family, church services, friends, important events and your life. Yes. It pays you well but what if we dig deeper into our hearts and we found passion, dream and purpose. Will you hold on to that or you will change ways. 

Is this my excuse? The excuse that I create to fool myself to believe in a lie?

People told me that it's dangerous going outside at late night. The graveyard shift taught me that in time of the day, there is evil. No matter what time you get out. Whether it's daytime or night time. We're in the world where good and evil exists.  

Andaming sabe! May maisingit lang.

This is my great escape. I don't know what you think about me now. I regret some things and there's an existing confusion on my head for the decisions that I've made. But I'm pulling my life together, so I can go beyond, through them all. With motivation, inspiration and prayer. I know there are things waiting for me as I search for the purpose for everything.

And yes. I miss my workmates. My officemates. My co-employees. And I don't know how to respond to you guys but I miss you all. I miss dancing on xbox in Market Market, I miss staying in the videoke room while you guys were singing your favorite songs, I miss going to the supermarket to check out some clothes. I miss my bonding with you guys. All those conversation will be remembered. Those sometimes non-sense works of imaginations and our special space for just ourselves. No one can take that away from me, from us.

I also sincerely, apologize for being this annoying guy that can't be reach. And for this decision. I didn't opened up for some reasons but  I hope that you understands. I have a pretty bad record and I hope that I can make it up to you. Sorry.. 

And with all the drama, I say thank you. because one of the reason that I stayed for too long in that career is you. Thank you for the assistance and all the help. For your story. Hindi nyo alam kung pano ako na-bless at na-inspire sa istorya niyo. And I salute you through that. I know you will be rewarded one day. And I pray that in the future. We'll meet again with much more stories and you know, craziness. 

And did I told you that I love you guys?!



A winning moment

Thursday, November 13, 2014

I remember during my Senior year in Highschool, we have this winning moment. It was an amazing day for us, not to mention the struggle and the strength that has been vanishes from us during practice. 

We have our annual Cheerleading competition within high-schoolers and the senior were merged into 1 team.  

Blue green and white was our uniform and I'm one of the lifters. Strong lifter. High school friends and crushes from the other section were around. Our choreographer is awesome. He never gave up on us when doing the stunts for the highflying humans. Woman. 

After weeks of practice and studying. It all came down to that night. Parents were watching, students prepares for their turn on the spotlight and teachers were praying for the safety and order. It was a cloudy day. And we're full of nerve and excitement. 

The freshmen starts the competition. And then the sophomores who gave us incredible stunts. As we're getting closer to our turn. Air became thick and sweats falls down almost everywhere. Juniors came in who impress through cheering. 

And it's our turn. We walk around the floor where 3 competitors already performed their winning piece. All heads down while we answer the question "ready?" And there's a moment of silence and a clap of hands afterwards. I could hear heartbeats of my pals beside me and we all knew that it will be our last dance together. So, we gotta win this thing! 

While the girls were smiling. The music plays. We start to groove and listen to the shout of the leaders when counting to 8. Everyone's busy and in rhythm. It falls to the right moment where the beat went in. The spins and the jumps, the rush and the eagerness. Our eyes set to the goal. In full strength we shout and give our all. Lift number 1 to lift number 2. We exchanged places and we knew we need more power later in the end. The final lift. Right after the comedy stunt that we called "legs". We count it all ourselves to perform the finishing that we look forward to. It's our winning piece.  

"Ito na 'yun!" 

We lifted her and her and her. We joined it together on top. The trio. And at the perfect moment. There's a perfect drop with a kick and it was over. Everyone's shouting and jumping. With the happiness painted on our faces, with the goosebumps all over our skins. We knew that we won. We lifted our adviser up. It was an amazing day and it was one of the winning moment that I treasured up to this day. 

I can't find any picture from the cheerleading. Here's a wacky class picture shot instead.


It's about Jesus!


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Itaas ang kamay, iwagayway, sumama at sumabay sa ginagawa ng iba.
Umawit ng mga kantang isinulat para sa Kanya.
Sundan ang koreograpiang pinauso ng mga mananayaw sa harapan.
Mamangha sa ilaw at effects na bumubulag sa'tin mata sa t'wing ito'y mapapatapat sa'tin.

Itaas ang kamay, sa pinakamataas na 'yong maabot at isang kamay sa tapat ng 'yong puso.
ipikit ang mata, pakinggan ang himig ng mga instrumento sa paligid. 
Simulang ibuka ang bibig, sabay-sabay nyong aawitin ang paboritong awit na pagsamba.
ni-hindi mo na kailangan tumingin sa lirikong nasa tabin.

Itaas ang kamay na para bang nasa simbahan ka. Dahil hindi lang sa simbahan ang tunay na pagsamba. Hindi lang sa musika na 'yong naririnig. Pasasalamat. Pagbigay pugay. Paghanga.Pag-ibig. ilang mga dahilan kung bakit tayo sumasamba. Hindi tayo nalilimitahan sa pamamagitan ng lugar o oras. Dahil hindi din siya nalilihitahan ng kahit anong kasalanan. Hindi tayo perpekto ngunit siya ay perpekto. Napakahiwagang Diyos. 


Work? Work!


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

I just realized that I'm a passive type of person, somehow. I'm a 'tell-me-what-to-do' guy, I don't have exact decision in some areas of my life. I'm unsure of many things. Whether in projects or in leading groups before. I want someone to dictate my role and I'll do it, If I want to do it. 

I believe that It's also the reason why, I stayed unemployed for the last 2 years. And I don't know where to start. It's embarrassing and this neighbor that has provided lots of help with our family urged me to try it out on a call center in BGC. It was a great experience. I never felt such nerve during that time.

Today, I'm on a vacation, our account has this ramp down and it cuts careers on that specific account. But they promised for a change of career or account. I'm still waiting for them. My vacation is going to it's second week and I'm thinking of many things for now.

Though I'm doing what I missed doing before. This whole tambay thing. The book readings and playing games without limit and wasting time over non-sense which I'm not even paid for. I begun to worry. My birthday is approaching and I had no money reserved. Also the Christmas and The Youth Summit.

What bothers me is the fact that when I went back to work, it will be hard to file a leave for birthday, summit, Christmas and the new year and the fact that If I didn't get back, it only means a long vacation because I'll never search for a new work 'til January and there's no money for me.

Yeah. I'm passive. Still praying for many things and I don't know what I want yet. But Albert Einstein's qout fits me well: Nothing happens until something moves.


Work? Work!


Tuesday, November 04, 2014

And I guess this is goodbye. For 9 months that we've been together. From Off season, Spring training, Opening season, Season, Post-Season and World Series. 

From introduction to one's self, eat out, bondings, ice skating, teasing, team building and random conversations. 

From Dota, Ragnarok, RBI Baseball and other online games. 
From NBA Finals, FIFA, FIBA and MLB World Series. 
From calls, emails, Issues, escalations and long calls. 
From Team Meetings, breaks, lunch and flexes. 

Stories after stories.. Laughs after laughs. And it will all come down to this.. A non-permanent goodbye. 'cause though we'll meet from time to time.. 
I'll be missing you guys. 

Those noises from the background when there's an active 'chikahan'. Also when ate Amber proclaimed an issue, when RR jokes around and when kuya Ren speaks his winning statements. 

Team meetings with Supervisors Heart and Dorothy. Of course the original Patrick and Greg. Discussing the status and standings and other announcement from the clients. 

I'll be missing the Tropang Flex Maiqui, Bien and Edgar. Of couse Jona, Tiff and Tine. The Tier 2s. Did I mention Brather Kier?! Carla?! Cj?! Reuben?! Aileen?! Rozz?! Joriz?!  

All of them. All together.  

Well, a friend told me that I shouldn't be so attached with office mates, because I came with earning on mind not building bridges. Yes. She's correct. Earnings. But neh. Because it will just hurt you in the end at some point. Who Goat. 

HAHA! Let's throwback! :)

Well, thanks for the fun and excitement. For the concern and assistance and some advice through love and life. Yiih! God bless you all guys, see you all soon. ♥


Work? Work!

kaya hindi totoo 'yung matututunan mong mahalin

Monday, November 03, 2014

A draft last August..

"kaya hindi totoo 'yung matututunan mong mahalin."

I heard this line after I bought Zesto's Dalandan Fruitsoda from the pantry moments ago. I don't know what to say nor what to feel or to react. It just keeps on running over my system. tick-tock-tick-tock. Beeeeeep! then I received a call. 

Is it true? 

You can't learn to love?
I think I need a deeper learning about this.
I mean what about him that makes him say that to her?

Here in our office, we have learning sessions, we reviewed all the things we already know just incase we forgot about it. Our trainers called it as 'refresher' We study and share thoughts about the specific issue and concerns. We take examinations, we recite and we go out of the training room. 

I know that it's different from, love. But if loving someone can be learned. How?

We can appreciate their efforts and their talents.
We can change the way we look at them.
We can check the things that they do good and those excellent things.

But is it really love if it's. Conditional? If it's because they're talented, or because of their efforts. Is it really possible to learn it. I don't know but we can research for potions and thing to do on or on

If that could work but I think no.


Work? Work!

You have a great day

Sunday, November 02, 2014

My last day as an agent for and since it's avail was last Saturday morning, I'll write some insights, review and thank you's for the time I stayed for this account, I'm not sure if this is against my company's rules and regulation because I didn't read that, who reads that anyway? 

I'm beside Jona and Bien. Lots of us were in day off and many of us share their gloom on Facebook when heard the news of the Ramp Down. The Ramp Down is one of the greatest fear among us agents, aside from escalation from the client, ramp down is basically, lessen down the production agents who handles call and answer emails.

We were called by our Operation Manager last Friday, a day before my last shift with which is the one who Interviewed me last January and was my Supervisor before he got promoted as out OM. A 15 minute team meeting to 30 minutes. We knew what it was. I'm not even shocked. I'm not expecting that I'll be staying nor leaving the account. I was passive at the time. He discussed the thing that we should know. That we will be interviewed on different accounts like Samsung, Motorola and Barnes and Noble as those accounts are still open.

I'm on Day Off for 8 straight days. Starting Saturday night up to Saturday night. We will received a call for interview and some stuffs. It's a long break. A week is a long break for me now. HAHA!

After our 'Last Shift', these people decided to run around with me on High Street. Of all the teasing. You know, you're going to miss them. And 'til next time, friends and you have a great day. 


All about her

Am I bothering you?

Saturday, November 01, 2014

I sent you messages, took some of your time, I've requested for many things.
Am I bothering you? 

When I look into your eyes and just say nothing. When I tell you some stories.
Am I annoying you?

You're not required to listen and bear everything. You're not required to do all of that, you have your own life and your own choices. You can go on, without me. But it will be fun if we're together. At least on my side.

I don't know what you're thinking. I don't know your thoughts about me. Your annoyance and irritation. I don't know if I'm impressing you or what's my contribution in your life. What are my impacts, those positive and negative impacts.

I just want to know what I should improve and develop. 'cause I know, that I don't deserve you, so I'll work out, on keeping every single stuff perfect, on making myself lovable in your eyes. 'cause you're too much that I can't contain.  

One day, as I hope so, my eyes will be filled with dreams and my mind with our wonderful story. And my heart with thankfulness to the Lord, for stitching everything to (1.) make His name known, (2.) make people be aware that God still writes love stories and (3.) for giving me one of the best gifts from Him. 


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