'Di ka okay!

tulala
di makausap
walang imik..

kararating ko lang ng bahay..

Bago ako kumaen
bago ako magbihis ng pambahay
uupo muna 'ko sa aking trono
paglalaruan ang mga salitang lumalabas sa 'king isipan
bubuksan ang listahan ng mga kanta 
at magpapatugtog ng paboritong musika
na tumutugma sa nararamdaman ko ngayon.

parang buong araw na rin akong nag-iisip
kaya siguro pagod na pagod rin ako.
nakipagtalo, halos nakipag-away. di ko alam ung tama pa ba ko.
minsan naiisip ko, wala na ba 'kong ginawang tama?

puro maling disisyon, maling galaw
maling kilos, maling gawi

tapos nag-usap kame.
ilang bagay na di naman malaking bagay pero lumaki.
nakatanggap ako ng iba't ibang mensahe at kaisipan
binara, nabara, nambara.
ano pa kayang silbi nito?

nakakaoffend, nakakaasar.
di dahil mali ang sinasabi sakin.
ngunit dahil sa tumpak na punto ng paghayag ng saloobin
naaasar sa sarili.

ilang ulit din ang pagtatanong
ang pagtaas ng boses
ang kunot ng noo
ang pagtahimik
nakanganga na para bang mag-isa lang kame sa isang kwarto

ilang oras na lang at matatapos na ang araw.
may mga tao talagang ang lakas mag-paiyak
o sadyang ako lang ang napapaiyak?

mahirap man dalhin
pinanindigan ko na rin
di ko nadepensahan ang sarili ko e
pero mahalaga pa ba yun?

bigla nalang nya ko kinausap
binasag nya ang katahimikan
inalok ng pag-kain
kinulit at kinuwentuhan
na para bang walang nangyare

ilang minuto nalang ang nalalabi
inabot nya ang kanyang kamay
tinitigan ako sa mata
mata sa mata
ilang segundo rin yun
nakita nya kaya ang namumuong luha sa'king mga mata?

ako, nakikita ko na totoo ang kanyang paglapit
ngunit sa pagabot ko ng aking kamay
tska naman ibinaba ang kanya
nanghinayang, gusto ko na lang sana syang yakapin

okay naman sya, pero ako? 
bakit ganito?
di ko masabi yung sa part ko?
pero tulad nga ng sabi ko
importante pa ba yun?

naghiwalay na lang kame ng di ko sya nakausap ng maayos
"Di ka Okay." sabe ng isa kong kaibigan.



tulala
di makausap
walang imik..


kararating ko lang ng bahay..

Bago ako kumaen
bago ako magbihis ng pambahay
uupo muna 'ko sa aking trono
paglalaruan ang mga salitang lumalabas sa 'king isipan
bubuksan ang listahan ng mga kanta 
at magpapatugtog ng paboritong musika
na tumutugma sa nararamdaman ko ngayon.

magiging maayos kaya ang bukas?

//sebajisoka

She's Got A Boyfriend Now

She's been in my heart since we were kids.
Elementary days, from strangers to classmates to seatmate.
I have a crush on her since the first day I stepped in that school.
she's smart, kind and cute.

as far as I can remember, she's my first puppy love. 
I kept that feeling for so long.
it became serious when we became schoolmates in our new school
we tease each other as freshmen
as time flies by we rarely talk to each other 
AWKWARD

but that's not important for now
She got a boyfriend now
If I'm not mistaken
that's her first boyfriend

they look good together
and I'm happy for her
they're so cute!


//sebajisoka

Please Lang

I browse your photos on facebook, it seems like I'm a stalker.
I know you're happy now, seeing someone else, having fun
You already moved on, but I'm here, still suffering for what supposed to be forever

I just wanna hide in the shadows of the past
I hope no one can see me but I wanna explode
I still love you, beyond words can say
but do you still love me?

I'm trying to let go and move forward
I want to live my life
I can't say you ruin everything
but you have a huge participation of this loneliness that I feel

stop flirting with me
stop digging our past
stop talking to me
after you say its over, it must be. right?

You've hurt me enough
I've lost my trust in you
even though I still love you
and I still long for your touch
still yearning for your attention
We are never ever getting back together
as in never.
it may not be now but I'll get over you.

//sebajisoka

Bro. Eddie for Senator

I am one of the Youth Coordinator in campaigning for Bro. Eddie.
together with Kaibigan Ko si Bro Community.. we want a man like Bro. Eddie in the senate.

we can't afford to lose! 

//sebajisoka

Ang taong gusto kong makasama forevur.

Today, I have this conversation with one of my new best friends. we talked about many things, particularly the crazy ones. and he asked me a question, one weird question..

"Sino ang gusto mong maging asawa..

"Sino ang gusto mong makasama habang buhay..

Among them?. "

I'm not sharing this to bring chills to your bones, I'm sharing this if I she's still the one that I'd choose when time passed by. 

So, I told him "maarte ako, matagal ko bago sagutin yan". It makes me think, its a tough question although I have an answer in my head. I let him guess and pick out random names of females that he know. We giggle on every names. HAHAHA! 

until..

"si ano.."

"kase.. alam mo yun, nasa kanya na kase ang lahat.."

we sung..

♫nese ye ne eng lehet.. oh oh ohohohh.♫

then we laugh again.

what a evening it was.

//sebajisoka

Messiah

It is hurtful to know that pain is inevitable while we're here on earth.

in our kindness and care for our love ones, sometimes we want save them before they're totally drowned in sadness and negative emotions. but we're just humans, hurting in another way, experiencing pain on the other side. what can we do? 

As a shoulder to cry on, seeing a friend repeatedly crying in pain brought by a tricky world is annoying but knowing that you don't know anything about the pain they feel is another story. we must understand what they're going through. without judgement.

and searching for a solution is quite hard, giving an advice seems like "just saying" words. they said that YOU, being there is enough even all you do is to listen, stare and just say "uh huh."

I was inspired writing this by the song "Messiah" by Yeng Constantino
it talks about us, as creation of God and knows nothing about what other really feels inside and our limitations as humans.
we get angry, sulks, grumble but we still long to know what they feel.
and to get them out of there which in some circumstances, we can't.
we need someone who really saves. a Messiah. which we are not.

Pasensya na di ako makangitiUmiinit ang ulo palagiDi kita maintindihanGusto kitang maintindihanPasensya na kung ako ay tulalaNakatunganga wala akong magawaGusto kong mang may magawaWala akong magagagawa 

Sasagipin kitaKung kaya ko lang sanaPero di ako MessiahPero di ako Messiah 

Papsensya na di nakakatulongSinasabi sayo’y parang bulongDi mo ako naririnigWala ka na ngang naririnig 

Unti-unting mararating mo rinAng bawat mong mga hinihilingHabang nasa malayo, papanalangin kitapapalayain ka..

//Messiah
//sebajisoka

Comfortable

I want to be honest in this post.
I love blogging, but somehow I'm not comfortable anymore. In sharing my thoughts, feelings and stories on the web. its seems like there's something that's going to happen that can 'cause issues about anything. because sometimes I'm not aware of what I post.
though I can hide this site or change its URL or delete this permanently if I wanted to. but no. I will not.

this blog keeps track for milestone or craziest stuffs that's happening in my life. I enjoy posting photos and messages with or without sense. this is my blog. duh?. but there is really something that I feel about my blog, I share. people read it. and interpret it.

I wish for more blogs this month.
oh! this is none sense! hahaha!
but I love the way how my blog plays a trick on someone's head.

April! :D
//sebajisoka