It's been more than a week since we all met Kean. But before all of that, let me tell you a story of what happened. This is outside of what I posted online during the announcement of Kean's birth.
I don't exactly know what I feel while my wife is in the operating room. My head is about to explode. I may look posed and calm outside but I' 'm trembling on the inside.
I always joke about my mother-in-law being so nervous but imagine this. She slept. I did not. I cannot. I cannot stop thinking about my wife in the operating room. We are just a wall away but we do not know what's happening.
I can't help myself. I'm just uttering small prayers to God asking for protection, strength, and safety. I sang this particular song and it's all I can think about..
I found my fortress, in You
And my soul is anchored, with You
My resting place, is in Your name
Forever safe
And I also repeated this line from one of my favorite song: Dahil Sinabi Mo
This calms me a little, it reminded me of how God works and how faithful He is to His words. But before all of that, I'm in a really dark place. I feel like I just don't care about anything, I just want her to be safe.
I continuously prayed and even tried bargaining with God. I know it's silly but I'm getting desperate. I can't help it and I'm about to cry. If only I could take all the pain and protect her at all costs. I just can't imagine my life without her. It's odd and all but she's my everything. I love her so much and my life would definitely be a wreck without her. She brightens my day and she takes care of me and our home. I just can't imagine it all.
I only calmed a bit when the nurse called me to the NICU to see the kid. They just informed me of the condition of the child and I can't stop smiling, I can't believe that this is an offspring of Jassie and I. Then, the OB told me that they were cleansing Jassie and asleep.
Hearing those made me relax a little and took a nice nap. A few hours later, I realized that I worried for nothing.
Magsabe ka lang bebs, bibigay ko lahat.
//ThingsINeverToldYouAbout
//sebajisoka
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