The End is Where We Begin

Maybe you know our story, or maybe not. But, you know what, I cannot believe that I'll have a story to tell. That's why I can't stop thanking God for what He has done for us. Well, there's always hope. 

I still remember the day that she caught my eye, I felt like a statue. I can't help myself smiling every time this memory passes by. She's teaching the kids some dance steps when I caught myself gazing magically. 

After few moments, I argue with myself because this should not be happening. Everything took place unexpectedly. I asked myself some questions that pushes me to stay away because my feelings might be temporary. I start asking God to filter my heart and mind and reveal unto me my real intention. And somehow, there's something that tells me to pursue friendship with her. 

I asked myself genuine questions.. Why do I like her? What do I want from her? What's my plan? And the list goes on.. and on.. There's too many questions to answer. Everything seems complicated. 

I crumpled all those questions and leave with one: Is she the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with? At that time, I'm not sure. Why? Because..

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

So, I asked the One who can give me an absolute answer. In His amazingly mysterious ways, He showed me how to love. He revealed His plan and said..

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

And we just celebrated our first year. 

//TheEnd

//sebajisoka

One Year

October 17, 2016

Today is a very special day. It's our 367th day as partners. Who would have thought? Again, this is the time where I should be saying sweet and cheesy message but I cannot. For some reasons, I'm getting speechless again. I'll just let the word flows while I'm listening to some groove. Or maybe, I'll share our anniversary date. Hmm. Well, I think that's a great idea. 

Early in the morning, I went to her house to make some sundo because we have a day to spend together. I really don't know the plan, because I don't have any, all I know is this day should be cherished. 

I have a deep plan but for reasons like: Money, time and everything. My plan didn't work out well. So, we glued ourselves to our last choice.. Tagaytay. And it wasn't a bad idea after all.

We went to Tagaytay in the late morning and the weather is perfect, the storm just went away and it's not that cold. 


Our first stop is at the Peoples Park In The Sky.

We walked around, sharing our stories and enjoying the view and the breeze but all we want is lunch. So, dumaan lang talaga kame dito. Hahaha!

So, we searched for a place to eat. Take note, ang mahal ng pamasahe dito. Though may Jeep na nadaan na mas mura, pero madalas kase, tricycle ang nanjan. Alin ba pipiliin mo, yung pinaghihintay ka o yung nandyan na all this time? 

Picnic Grove

Sobrang tagal naming magisip ng makakainan, in the end, nagbulalo kame. Syempre, Tagaytay = Bulalo. Hahaha! Plus sisig pa. Matapos namin ienjoy ang mainit na bulalo. Nagpahinga kame sandali sa restaurant and nagpunta na ng Picnic Grove. 

Sa entrance palang ang lakas na magyaya ni ate maghorseback riding. Ang mahal mga friends. ₱350 isang kabayo, di naman pwedeng dalawa kame sa isang kabayo, kawawa naman. Hahhaha! Kaya kumuha kameng 2. N akakatakot sa una, hirap magbalance pero mabilis lang naman masanay. 

Horseback riding

Tapos, tinuruan din kameng kontrolin yung kabayo, to the left and right at nagkarera pa kame ni Jasmin. Hahaha! Di namin tinapos yung 1 hour na renta because it's masakit sa pwet na you know. So bumaba na kame at tiningnan yung pictures namin kay kuya, kumikitang kabuhayan dito bes. 100 kaagad yung pictures. San ka. XD

Nagstay lang kame sa Picnic Grove para sa views and everything. At eto yung pictures namin na nahihilo kame. HAHAHAHHA!

Gusto sana naming magStarbucks, balita ko kase maganda magstarbucks at the top. Kaso, magskyranch pa kame, try lang.

Sky Ranch

Activities:
- Sky Cruiser - Yung magpepedal ka sa railroad ng roller coster. 
- Lobster Pot - Yung hagisang bola na ubos pera.
- Sky Eye - This is where she handed me the Blue Magic bag that she's carrying since we left her home. Nahiya ako bigla. Panis ang regalo nya sa'kin tapos ako walang regalo. :( She's giving me hints about her gift, di ko alam tawag dun pero puno siya ng creativity and pictures namin and of course. With her love. Keenes, nahihiya siya sa regalo niya with all her excuses, kase daw ganto, kulang sa oras, rush nya ginawa pero ako walang regalong katulad nun. But I'll make bawi. Don't me. 

It's an amazing gift. Filled with love. I felt that I am deeply loved. Di lang basta basta love 'to. I see her effort to make me smile, - I mean happy. I'm already happy just being with her but she makes it more meaningful with her gift. 

Before we go home, we searched for some pineapple. Because Tagaytay is the place. :)

It's our simple way of celebrating our anniversary. What I realize today is I really wanted to explore the world with her and that I love her so much. Hayy. :)

//OneYear
//sebajisoka

1'm Speech7ess

How can I admit that sometimes words are not enough?
When the one thing that I thought I'm good at starts to function indecently.
And when the words bolted out, what is the remedy?

Turning to some crazy-and-overly-cheesy-love-songs will do
Because I admit, it stirs up the sentiments stored in my soul
Then, the panting for romance transcends beyond what I think I can cover
That it produce something in my chest that makes a drummer inside of me detonate

Because words are not enough to utter what engenders my speechlessness
Maybe I can use the most simple and most common words to express all of these 
And just blend it all up with sincerity in the most prominent one

For you gave love unconditionally. Who would think that there is someone that will love me beyond condition. I don't know how did I qualify in at least, one of your choices.
I simply don't deserve this. Yes, I don't.

Astonishing, this is how I describe the steps that I took on my way to your eye. 
Looking back I know that she's out of my league and I'm out of my mind
I tried drawing near until my mind reached it's blind spot
To the point that I'm not sure what it will bring, some pain? Sorrow? Sleepless nights? Brokenness? Emptiness? 

I'm sure that when I was wooing her, I'm really out of my mind. Well, maybe because I'm really using my heart. 

Who would have thought? We're celebrating our 1 year today. 

Happy 1st anniversary! Mahaba pa ang lakbayin natin. Well, you know what, I truly believe that you are God's gift to me, a package worth owning and keeping for life and I know that my life will be extremely beautiful because I have you here with me. 

I remember the time when she called me "Bebs".
"Hallelujah" is my battle cry. 

//sebajisoka

When to speak up?

I have this simple question inside me for a long time. 

All I ask is when to speak up
when to stand up and express what you feel?
Is it when its too late, or too early.
And how would you know that it's too late or too early?
When is the perfect time?

Because we're afraid.
We're worried for the result.
We're so afraid of the conclusion in the end
that is all present just in our head.



//sebajisoka

Masungi Georeserve

Just few days before my anniversary at TaskUs, a team building just appeared. Tadaah!

Dalawang beses na kaming nagplano magBaler. Di natuloy parehas. So, biglaang pa-book ang naging solusyon namin sa team building naming di matuloy-tuloy. Di naming alam kung bakit di kame matuloy sa baler, pero tanggap na namin dre.

It was at start of shift when they planned for an adventure at Masungi Georeserve. I was goofy during those moments and I’m not even listening carefully at the plan, then they booked it.

I don’t know what to do. I’m not interested in the activity and I’m afraid of heights. Plus, I declined my girl when she asked me to go with her at that rope-filled-place. And one of my close teammate cannot go with us for some reasons. Yeah. I hated those parts. Dapat lahat ng gusto, makasama. Sayang eh.

Then, guilt almost ate me whole. May problema. Dahil sa ginawa ko, kulang sila. I’m broke, I’m torn apart, so I talked to my girl, Jassiee and asked her to come with me. I expressed my sincere apology and share my excitement. What a turn of events, she agreed, my closest teammates are on the go, we have a driver and we’re on our way to Masungi Georeserve.

Jasmin and I, started the day at 12:30am. We went home together to prepare the clothes and the food assigned to us. Took a short nap and we’re on our way at the meeting place, Guadalupe.

We’re 1 hour early, so I let her nap at Jollibee while we’re waiting for others. Well, of course, the lates. Can’t blame anyone simply because it’s part of any team building.

After waiting for another few moments, I can feel my sweaty hands being in nerve and my mind in pain. Am I really going to do this?

Everyone is trying to convince me to be strong in front of bebs. But I cannot. She’s stronger than me and I love the way that she accepts my fears and laugh at it. -.-

Ayi.

We arrived at the place too early. So, here’s what happened:

We had our lunch and our initial picture taking. We’re few moments away from the ropes and there’s no more long waits because here we are, at Masungi Georeserve.

So, Carlo, Weng, Ada, Marj, Ann, Jojo, Jassiee and Jabes starts their adventure.

From Stage 1 – Stage 2 – Nanay – Tatay – Gusto – Kong – UMUWI NAAA! HUHU. ANG TAAS! NAKAKATAKOT. KAYA KO BA ‘TO?!

Mashaya siya, promise. Halo-halong excitement, kaba, pagkamangha. Ang galing ng pagkakagawa. It’s one of the great adventures with your pals. Naramdaman naming mabilad sa araw at maulanan, umakyat – baba, tumulay, humakbang ng may kaba at magpanggap matapang (Lalo na ako). Pumasok din kame sa cave, pinadaloy sa mukha ang tubig galing sa kalangitan, nagawa ding magtawanan at magbiruan sa kabila ng halos 5 oras na adventure. Yung 1.5k plus fare and food is totally worth it.

Medyo kulang yung pamVlog ko, kasi nalock sa zipper ng bulsa ko yung phone ko in the middle of the trip. I had fun, I haven’t totally overcome my fears just yet but during those moments, I feel free.

Thanks for staying!

Best,

sebajisoka

Hi there!

Hi there,

Thanks for stopping by. Let me share something.

We all have that special moment where you feel that you want to appreciate something. And for me, this is a special moment. You see, when I met you guys, I wasn’t expecting anything, but for sure, I don’t know what to do. During the early days, I’m afraid, I don’t know anyone, and I’m full of what ifs.

What if we don’t get along? What if there will be some compatibility problems. What if I’m not really qualified to do the things that were assigned to me?

I have some issues. That’s sure.

So, during breaks and lunch times, I eat alone and do stuffs alone. I even walk around BGC to pass time and I re-evaluate what’s happening. Will I ever be happy with this new team? I’m missing my old team. 

I met you one by one; I talked to you during coaching and tried to sneak myself in your circle. I know that I’ll fail. But I didn’t fail entirely. I also succeed. So, to those who welcomed me and invited me in, thank you.

To my teammates that have weird-mixes-of-everything, you know who you are. I just want to say that because of you, I felt some freedom, I became confident to share who I am, that *sebajisoka and this is my story; you took me out of my shell. You guys are the reason why I’m still in the company.

I’m so thankful that you are my teammates, thanks to all the fun and the laughter. To all the nagging and bullying and the teasing, I look forward for more adventures with you. Thanks for the pump. Thanks for trusting me. Thanks for calling me friend – for showing me that we’re close – for sharing your problems and sharing your life hacks and tips. For laughing at my jokes, for sharing your time (let’s just assume that you have a choice). For asking me if I wanted to be your kuya, for being pasaway, for all.

I just want to express my appreciation because tomorrow maybe it’s too late, because some of you have plans of leaving, I wanted you guys to stay because I just met the best team, but yeah, I know that you have your dream jobs and other life goals. I wish you all the best pursuing those things; I just can’t contain the sadness and the feeling of missing someone in the team. Am I being clingy? Haha! Anyway, Iloveyouguys and I mean it. 

Until next time? I hope that you’re still here and if so, I appreciate the time you spent here. 

Let me know if you need anything.

Best,

sebajisoka

Youth Revival in Manila [Hillsong Young and Free]

All I can say is I'm lost for words. I'm still have hangover from last night's concert then this. Writing this blog is a big time challenge. 

Same as yesterday, Jasmin and I decided to went early to find some comfortable seats. We're actually at Araneta 2 hours before. So, we had some snacks. To be honest, seing the stage fasion of this concert disappoints me. I've been through Hillsong United concert and the stage is jaw-dropping, this design is not Hillsongs, I thought. 

Then, there goes the intro, we had some hosts that just drop by to say Hi and giveaway some shirts and teach us some dance steps. The Ha - Hammur (Hat - Hammer) dance step. It's fun, they're fun. No wonder why they were called Young and Free.

The concert starts with This is Living. One thing I realized is this place is dark, the light is in the stage, all the those colorful lights. There's no lyric/video on the big screen above and it makes it even darker. 

There's a reason for this, I now see their effort and creative juices. The stage is really astonishing and with those wonderful lights, they shocked me. This is a call, we can serve and give glory to God with the skills and the talent that we have. He gave us creativity to worship Him.

Here's their line up.

I found this online, credits to the owner.

All I can say is this is a Youthful worship and indeed, gave us revival, a revival in our hearts that we hope that will go through our nation. There's truly no place than this. A place of worship. OMG, my heart explodes. 

MANILA in 1 minute. #YOUTHREVIVAL #YouthRevivalNights

A video posted by Hillsong Young & Free (@hillsongyoungandfree) on Jun 4, 2016 at 9:50pm PDT

//HillsongYoungAndFree//YouthRevival //sebajisoka