Big Pot

Have you ever felt the struggle?
The pain of those teases
The agony of not living up to their expectations

It is real.

I tried to be better, to be the best.
I'm still on a scuffle.
I. Just. Can't. Help. Myself.
You can lay down the things that I should be doing
And I will still fail

I don't know what to do
And I'm tired
I just want to lay down all day and all night
Wishing that everything will become better

Tears does not fall anymore
Just the pale face and fake smiles
I'll just pretend that there's nothing wrong
You know what they say,
Fake it till you make it

You may hate me now
but what can I do?
If will power doesn't work for me
And all the excuses is at present

Maybe I don't belong here
Maybe..

//BigPot
//sebajisoka

I went abroad

I just came back from Taiwan few days ago and it was fun.

Things that I noticed about Taiwan:

• Transportation is the real deal (And yes, even the what-I-thought-an-amusement-park-ride, the cable car)
• Their country is so clean
• Taiwanese is well-disciplined
• There are good and weird night market food
• Non-English speakers
• Sooo many temples
• What is traffic?

Those are some of the things that I noticed about Taiwan, and I think we Filipinos should adopt many of their characteristics and all the good things about them. I take my hat off to their transportation and discipline. 

I just can't take some of their food, But if ever I'll get a chance to come back, I'll definitely try more. :) 

 I'll be posting more of our experience soon, for now, enjoy one of the few pictures that I have below. 

//Taiwan
//sebajisoka

Limiting Belief

Everything is meaningless! A chasing after the wind! - Ecclesiastes 1:14

This is my story, I tried everything that pleases me and I don't feel like I'm being productive and serving my purpose, my real purpose. I tried doing lots of things just have this feel-good atmosphere in my mind. But truth be told, I don't feel good.

I'm struggling to do the things that I don't enjoy doing for others. I feel like I'm just trying to impress everyone and it does not do good for me. I don't feel any satisfaction. 

How do I want my life to be remembered?

I answered this already before, that our lives will be remembered in the good and bad things that we do. It don't make sense to me now. What's the importance of our lives to be remembered. When we're long gone, it does not matter. It doesn't do us any good. 

It goes the same in gaining knowledge and wisdom, in pursuing our passions. It does not make any sense. 

Unless...

We do it for the glory of God. 


//LimitingBelief
//sebajisoka

Inspiron 15 7000

After weeks of searching, scouting and checking reviews. I'm here with this bad boy, the Dell Inspiron 15 7000. 

Quick Specs:

Intel Core i5-73000HQ CPU @ 2.5GHz
4GB RAM (up to 32GB)
1 TB Hard Drive
GTX GeForce 1050 4GB

I'm still planning to upgrade the RAM though and I'm still installing and downloading the applications that I need, I'm in the midst of setting this up. I already have my bestfriends, Photoshop, Premiere and NBA 2k18 to name a few. 

I'm pretty excited for this device, I've been longing for one ever since my PC crashes down. And now, I got a new Windows device that's way wayyy better than the old one (and sure, costly)
I'm so thankful to the seller for maintaining this device and selling it on a budget. And to be honest, I'm not a fan of second hands but I'm enjoying this so far.



//Dell
//Inspiron15
//GeForce1050 //sebajisoka

Self-worth

What is self-worth?
How do you worth yourself?

This is something that we don't talk about on a day-to-day basis. It's a deep topic and it's pretty weird to open up. But there's a lot of lesson that we can pick up from it.

Recently, we had a life coaching with our team. Everyone shared about their experiences and I can say that life is rough and it's about perspective and how someone handle the difficulties they had in life. There are different levels on this for each person.

Some experience extreme heartbreak or experience too much disappointment over oneself or from others. For sure there are too many reason why we look at our worth to oneself next to nothing.

To be honest, at some point in my life. I see myself as worthless person. I don't have any talents and I feel like I'm being hated all the time. There's a turning point in my life that I started appreciating myself on what I have and who I am, I begun understanding my thought process and the things that I want and why I want it. I blogged about it 8 years ago and I never questioned my self-worth since. 

Well, my experience is different from other's. (In Filipino, ang karanasan ko ay iba dun sa iba. I found it funny so yea. hahahah). We can't tell people to do this and that just because that's what you did and you rose up from it. BUT we can empower them, appreciate them and pray for them.

How can I help? Hahahaha!

I don't have a mind of a genius to give advise. All I can do is listen. I'm also willing to pray for you.  

//SelfWorth
//sebajisoka

#Blessed

So, here I am, in the middle of the night. Trying to compile my thoughts and attempting to provide feedback on what's happening in my life right now.

As I look upon the nothingness. I realized that I've been very blessed, with the things that I have and the people that surrounds me. 

And I'm not attempting to impress anyone anymore. I escaped some poisonous relationships. Pressed the refresh button in a new Church that guides me towards Christ.
Acquired new relationships. I'm starting to gain the things that I've always wanted - Bass Guitar, Cameras and soon, Laptop. Started a YouTube Channel. I'm learning some Stocks and I'm invested for the future. My favorite sports team is on the right track. I get to travel more frequently and I'm enjoying everything right now and trying to live through now. 

I know that it's not much of an achievement but just imagine how messed up my life if I don't have my girlfriend to help me and be with me. The one who pushes me to be a better person. "pushes" is actually a cheap word for it, but truly, she inspired and inspiring me to be a better person. I'm so blessed to have her and I owe it all to God. 

//HashtagBlessed //sebajisoka

Why Can't It Be?

I've been hearing this song played around recently, whether in a bus, somewhere around social media or in the office speaker specifically on a rainy day.

It makes me smile whenever I think about it.
Just like everybody else, this song makes me ask "why?"

Well, few years ago. I'm on a struggle figuring this all out. I was deceived that I know better and it makes me sad, really sad. I had this emotional nights and endless thinking of a solution to make things work out.

I thought that she's for me and we're meant for each other. I thought that I'll be the man for her and I'm willing to give everything up. Then, time passes by, things have changed and my decisions created a path that would lead me to where I am right now.

To go back to the question that I had. Why can't it be the two of us?

Simple answer: Jasmin.

Complex answer: God prepared me for this, well, I think both of us. God molded me to wait and be patient. He made sure that I'll be the man that He wants me to be, the same goes for her. And we met halfway as He fulfill each other's long-standing prayer. And now, together, we're being transformed from glory to glory.

I know and I believe that God created us for each other. ( I don't mean to be overly cheesy or corny - viewer discretion is advised)

And in case you're all wondering, I courted her with marriage on my mind. I'm in that point of not playing games of short-term relationships. That's a commitment that I've made. That's just me.

//YCantItBe?
//sebajisoka