12.17

Happy Pre-wedding day? Anniversary? Something? I know that nothing is final yet but, I'm pretty excited.

I may not be fully involved yet in planning but I'm looking forward to it. My family is also excited, we usually talk about it in the morning while having breakfast, talking about who's gonna be invited, who's going to be involved, the venue, and all. 

I know that we're just scratching the surface of this stressful planning. I want to enjoy every moment of it. It's way early and I can already feel our disagreements and probably argue more in the near future. We have different wants. But I know for sure that we'll settle on what's best for us. Right?

Anyway, I just wanted to post a blog. I don't have much to say. I'm not even sure if I'm really ready for the future and start a family with you. There's just too much uncertainty of the future. But one thing is sure, I wanted to be with you every moment of every day. 

 

I want to watch every movie, every anime, every series with you by my side. 

To eat all the amazing dishes that we will cook and drink every beverage available. I want to laugh about everything, be silly in every possible way. 

I wanted to live a simple and happy life with you. I long to see God's grace extend in our lives. His amazing plans manifest in us. I'm praying to be a role model as a husband and as a father.

I desire to honor you with everything that I have. O teka, yan muna, baka wala na ko masabe sa vows. 😜

Iloveyou, goodnight.

//1217

//sebajisoka

Puppies deserve to live forever - Panda

I was in my bedroom when I heard your first cry, it seems like you're shouting "Hello everyone, I exist". I saw your little body and pretty unopened eyes. I can feel the anxiety and excitement, knowing that we're about to take care of 4 cute little puppies. I immediately let everyone at home know about this.

There were 4 of you but you're exceptional and you're my favorite. You are cheerful and sweet. You're always there to have fun and enjoy. You always tease us whenever you see us. Bite us whenever you have a chance. Always wanting to play.

You've only been with us for 4 months and you gave us memories that will stay for a while. I even have plans of adopting you and making you part of my future family, to play with my wife and children. I thought that you'll be with us for a long long time. I guess that's just a dream now. 

It's early to say goodbye but we have to, thank you for staying with us and sharing your little time with us. Who would have thought that this little piece of life would impact us this way? 

Guilt is starting to build within us. We're sorry that we did not take care of you enough. A picture of your face in your last minutes is unbearable. Hours, before you died, is a portrait of your sulking. We know that we could have done a little better. 

The way you look us at eats up our insides. We know, for sure, that we could have done better. I apologize for not showing you much love. For not giving you the best of our affection. 

Everything is so much different now. There's too much silence in the living room and no playful little fellows are jumping around, seeking attention. It's just sad now. The place that used to be messy and happy is now a plain living room with no joyful little ones.  

Cooper, your mom, is surely missing you. She runs around and looking for her playmates. At one point, we heard her cry. Her energy is quite low than usual. Your sibling is currently confined in a vet clinic, we're really hoping for complete recovery. 

My parents are also sad. They miss your barking, your jumping, and even cleaning your nasty poops. Few days have passed and we're still thinking of you, we're talking about your fun memories up to your last day. 

My little brother even has a gift for you this Christmas, a little present for your supposed to be first Christmas, we never had our yearly family picture. We miss you so much. 

Until next time, baby Panda. We love you so much. Goodnight. 

//BabyPanda

//Panda

//sebajisoka

The Meaning of Numbers: The Number 5

Above every signs and symbolism, I wanted to pursue our anniversary as a couple for our engagement day. This is because the number 5 is very significant to me and to how I view our relationship. 

Ever since I started to admire her in the middle of a vacation bible school, I know that she's out of my league. We're too different and it's weird seeing us together. Of course, we would end up together in my head because I'm a wishful thinker.

Whenever I caught myself looking at her, I'm whispering to God to remove this feeling if it's not from Him, if it's temporary or if we would end up hurting each other in the end.

Days turned into months, I thought that the feeling is gone. Until we meet again with a few talks, the feelings bloom and it's amazing. All the emotion came rushing in all over the place, It's different this time, it's not the "di makakain kakaisip sa'yo" feeling. I knew at the time that she's the one that I want to be with, but prayer after prayer, I was able to confirm this through her.

I know that she's way too much for me. She's like a star from a far, far away galaxy, impossible to be with. As you know, she's beautiful inside out. She's smart. She's a believer. It makes me fall in love with her more, her innocent eyes make my heart tender. She's simply.. Grace.

She's my underserved gift from above and the 5 years of us being in a relationship together symbolizes God's grace. 

In the bible, the number 5 is indeed the number of grace. For me, doing the marriage proposal on our 5th-year anniversary means pursuing grace for the rest of my life. 

//readyformore

//fiveyears

//sebajisoka

On Re-posts

Hello. I'm planning to just post this as a tweet but I think I need more characters. And I'm not sure of doing the thread tweets.. So.. I'll just post it here.

During the quarantine, I saw a trend of people reposting point-of-view and opinions about certain topics in life.

I noticed that some of the people that share the post are just blinding agreeing with the thought or it works for them.

Reposting it with a caption "kaya nga.. ganito ako/kame"

One example that I saw is about an opinion on "live-in". That it's okay and so, then list out all the advantages of living in. It sounds good. But that's not entirely what you're getting, there are disadvantages as well. 

Just like being married, people can list out all advantages and it will sound good. But there are also disadvantages of marriage. 

I don't know if I'm making sense here but my point is, let us not push our beliefs and opinions to other people. If many people agree with you, it does not mean that you are right and it doesn't mean that if many people disagree with you, then you are wrong. 

People have different opinions. We're all trying to live this life base on what works for us or maybe what makes sense to us. 

We have a unique environment and a unique way of thinking. How I wish that it's just that simple. Well, whatever fits your values, follow them. For me, I'd stick to what the bible taught me, I struggled with it, I must say but this is what I value. 

//onreposts

//sebajisoka

The Proposal

Oct 17, 2020.

In the mids of the pandemic, we're sharing love and planning for the future. To be honest, what's happening to the world right now made me realize a lot of things.

One of the things that made me realize is time. Though we have plenty of time right now by staying at home, we're not really sure of having plenty in the future. As this COVID came, along with the other crazy 2020 stuff. We're pretty much sure of the uncertainty that tomorrow can bring. 

Anyway, back to the main topic. So, a few months ago, I prayed to God to give me a sign and courage for this marriage proposal. I asked Him to give me the date and time and all. 

He gave a verse about worry. Then, I realized that I've been worried all this time. We could have been engaged about 3 years ago. Yes, I'm THAT sure of her.

Since that day, I began with my research about the necessary stuff needed for this day. I talked to my parents and my siblings first and planned the talk with her parents.

PERMISSION. 

We ate at Shakey's in Muntinlupa and I'm the first one to arrive. They're coming from the church, while waiting for them, I practiced some of my lines. It was a really fun talk, they already talking about the wedding upon their arrival at the restaurant even before I asked for their permission.

They already knew. It's really pretty smooth talk. I'm so glad to have a family like theirs.  

PLANNING.

This is the hardest part of it all. As much as I wanted to involve everyone, somehow, I'm having a hard time figuring out how things would work. Plus, this pandemic made every step a little harder than it should be. 

I'm aiming for a lot of things and I wanted to make sure that I give her the best proposal that I can. Here are some of the proposal ideas I came up with.

• Travel proposal - which is really impossible right now. 
• A proposal in the Gazebo - in one of our first date location.
• The classic room proposal 
• A proposal in a resort with her closest friends.

As you probably know, I went with a proposal in their house, with the help of our family. Her dad made the flowers needed. Her mom and RJ helped me in designing the house a little. My mom cooked our food, dad helped in a lot in little ways. My brothers for the video and photography and the runner. Her brother for the music. 

I tried so hard not to bother anyone in making all of these but I know that she will be happy when she found out that we all worked together for this. 

The past few days before the date is pretty much a mess. I'm getting anxious about what will happen and decided to cancel it altogether at one point. I'm disappointed at many things and I wanted to bring the best for her but nothing seems to work out. 

Looking back. I think it's God's way of reminding me about the message that He gave me a few months ago. That I should not worry. He will deliver. 

On that day, in preparation and all. We went to her house, set everything up, cook the food, and wait for her arrival. 

I was laughing. I was caught in the moment. Suddenly, I don't have any words. Everything around us might look like a mess, there's a child on the corner, a grandpa on the other side, there are people watching us around, and all I see is her.

I'm on my knees. I bring out the ring and pop the question. It seems like we're the only ones in the room. Nobody heard the question or even her answer but we're the happiest couple at that moment. 

I can't believe it but...

We're engaged! 

//TheProposal

//sebajisoka

21st of September

Hello there. 

It's been 2 months since my last post and here I am, writing to you again. We'll a lot of things happen in between and I thought that I might share it with you today.

First, Jassie's birthday:

We celebrated her birthday. Eat some awesome food like Sambokojin's Barbeque kit and some cooked food.

A simple celebration under this "new normal" set up. 

It was a fun day and there are things happening in the background secretly and I'll tell that story in the next blog. 

My family and I went to their home to celebrate with all the food. We played games and had so much fun. 

I honestly don't know what to say but I'll try my best. I'm always thankful for your life and you know that. Another year was added to your age, you still look young and beautiful. 

I'm praying for your success, for your dreams to be fulfilled. For your prayers to be met and for your desires to be satisfied. 

I'm always hoping and trusting God to give you a happy life better than you can imagine. 

Iloveyousomuch. 

//21stofseptember

//sebajisoka

A Random Monday Morning Thoughts

With all of the things happening around. One thing is for sure that we're unsure of tomorrow. Life is full of uncertainty and there's no amount of planning that can bring assurance of what will happen tomorrow.

But we can't just live for today to worry about the next day. We live for today and live for tomorrow when it arrives.

I'm always thankful to God for giving me this life and allowing me to see His creation. To witness His goodness in my life. 

I wanted to thank Him for literally everything. For being able to feel sadness, loneliness, and love. To feel all these emotions. To be able to have faith, and be able to trust. 

To meet different kinds of people. Meet every kind of behavior. To be afraid and overcome fear. To explore the beauty of how everything interconnects. How my mind works and how little did we know about the world. 

I'm sorry, I'm just blabbering some things today on a rainy Monday morning. 

//arandommondaymorningthoughts

//sebajisoka