Calibration

Hey! 

It's me again after a few months. 

You know, I'm struggling for a while about some things. It's not that big of a struggle, there are people with much bigger problems than mine. 

Because I thought, I figured it out.
I tried pushing myself to do things for my improvement.

I stopped eating junk, I consumed less food, less rice and less sweet.
I tried to be healthy.

I also tried subscribing to premium online tutorial just to boost my knowledge about the stock market.

I also make it a habit to read the bible every day.

I set goals and put my mindset into a pattern of doing things daily. I even told myself to never stop, that in times that I missed one stuff on my schedule, I just need to go back where I left off instead of trashing it all at once.

But after a few weeks of trying, here I am.
I went back to eating carelessly, I never set time for my self-study of stocks and from reading the bible every day, I just now listen to it through the app.
I got nothing again.

I always go back to the things that I'm comfortable at. I'm not into changes and I have no discipline. I always make excuses and I'm hopeless.

But in my office, one of our life coaches conducted a seminar about minds and its pattern. I plan of having a one-on-one session with him so I could help myself.

While waiting for it. I'll try to push myself again for those changes. 



//Calibration
//sebajisoka

Final Answer

Hey!

Can I ask you 1 thing,

How could I survive without your love? 

I'm a mess. I'm a wreck. I even thought that no one can love me besides God and my family, but there you are, still looking at me like I'm freaking Tony Stark.

Maybe, all I wanted to say is that I appreciate everything that you did for me. For accepting me for who I am and for taking care of me even though I'm stubborn and irresponsible. 

I still think that you're out of my league and that I don't deserve you. I don't know how that makes you feel, but it's the truth.

I wanted to make you happy always because your happiness is my happiness, and I wanted to say sorry for the times that I don't do the things that make you happy. I'm sorry for the empty moments that don't look magical, for the times that I'm unsure of things, and when I do stupid things. 

Thank you for staying and bearing life with me for almost 4 years. I could say that "I could not ask for more" but I really wanted more. I want more time with you, I want to be with you always and for the rest of my life. I want to provide for our needs and even wants.

You're the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Final answer. 

//FinalAnswer
//sebajisoka

Color Manila

Color Run Manila 1 week before the event, we signed up and it was exciting for me. And nerve-wracking as I've never done 10k fun run before, and this is my first time in few years. No practice or anything. We've got our shirt and we started to run. It was so early when both my feet felt uneasiness. We haven't reached 1 KM and I felt like I can't walk another 1KM. Good thing, my girlfriend and my little brothers, who frequently jog and join fun runs, managed to wait for me. But of course, I understand how it feels to always wait for someone - I wanted them to enjoy. So, I asked my brothers to run ahead of us and we'll try to catch up. My girlfriend stayed with me as we're not both runners and I know that she'll never leave me even if I tell her so. While in pain and in fun because of those colors, we talked about life and all - we managed to create a plan in order to finish the run. We, then, finished the run and claimed our medals then, the party begun. It was fun. I enjoyed every pain, water station and every bit of it. But most of all, I enjoyed the life talks, I enjoyed planning our lives, even though I know that God has a better plan and our plans might not be the best plan. I enjoyed it all. It just give me inspiration and it fuels my heart.

//ColorManila//sebajisoka

We're on the End Game now.

22 Movies
11 years
1 conclusion for the MCU's Infinity Saga.

It has become the most loved franchise and the box office backs this up. They amazed us with those CGIs, made us laugh with those jokes in between battles scenes and they let us fall in love with our heroes (Even villain)

I've been following the Avengers for awhile now. Maybe, I'm not that of a hardcore fan, but I watched most of their movies. I jumped into the hype in the phase of Infinity war. I've watched all the possible theories since then, mixed it all up to produce my own theory, now we had the End Game that Doctor Strange told us. 

It's also the end to an era. We don't have the genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist anymore, our Captain became old-man cap, we lost our Russian Spy, Black Widow. We will never see them together again. (Unless you know, Flashbacks? Multiverse? Who knows, it's a comic book movie)

If you ask me, it satisfies the hype. It brought us tears from the jokes and tears from the pain. As a fan, it was satisfying. It's worth the wait. The movie was beautifully crafted and it's a wonderful conclusion for this era. It gave us an ultimate flashback that represents what our heroes had been through and what we've been through. It all adds up to the overall emotion for the movie. 

I never appreciate Hawkeye that much until this movie, motivated by the events of what happened. He lost his family and became hungry to bring them back. Black Widow's sacrifice is one of the saddest part of the movie, what she did was of pure love for what she considered as family.

Hulk is very underrated, he struggled with his persona but now he has become the smart Hulk or the Professor Hulk - He was the one who managed to snap to bring everyone back. 

Thor might be a laughing stock but his character is an close-to-accurate picture of a person with depression. He's been through a lot. he lost his family, his kingdom and the chance to prevent Thanos from wiping half the universe. He's thirsty for revenge, they all did. 

Iron Man is the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate source of tears. The final piece of the puzzle. The reason why they won. Thank you, Mr. Stark. 

Captain America is the MVP for this movie - He's more than the Super Soldier Serum. He has a very high moral standard and is willing to do whatever it takes to lead and win the battle. He yields and he is worthy. 

The overall battle scene was epic - what a great film. Thanks for everything!

Avengers, Assemble.


Photo Credits:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx6tzuugsyg/
https://www.instagram.com/p/BxXykCJgXZe/
https://www.ubackground.com/wallpaper/films/avengers_endgame_chris_hemsworth_marvel_thor/22-0-18697
https://io9.gizmodo.com/one-of-avengers-endgames-most-incredible-scenes-is-now-1834644122

//sebajisoka

We'll be just fine

Here am I, pushing myself to write
While feeling empty from the inside
How can I move on though
How can I write again

Is the passion, gone?
Should I let it go and search for a different output?

Well, I've been looking for a while now
Does anybody know?
Does anybody hear me?
Does anyone see the fire in my heart?

It feels empty
I don't know what I should do
I feel wrong

All  I do is to stare blankly at nowhere
While to all of these depressing song
Because I'm trapped
It feels like my hands were handcuffed

Heart so heavy
Everything is so confusing
I'm so tired. I just wanna rest.
And not to think about anything.

I'm sorry about this. This is just too random. We'll be fine, though.

//WellBeJustFine
//TakeMyHand
//sebajisoka

Ups and Downs

It's only March and there has been several Ups and Downs in my life.

Downs:

• I showcased my salary increase presentation and I only got the lowest salary increase. 
• I somehow lose interest in my passion because of the panelist' 
• Our home almost burned down
• I lose consciousness in just our 2nd destination
• I got Amebiasis, that can really cause death

Ups:

• I fight for my salary increase due to miscommunication and it was adjusted
• We went to Bali, Indonesia and took a lot of pictures and videos
• My family is safe
• I never lost my consciousness throughout our trip up until now
• I was cured from Amebiasis in just a week

Today, I'm planning for a business, understanding the priorities for my life, looking forward to the future.  

//UpsAndDowns
//sebajisoka

Burnin' Up

January 18, 2019

According to legend, our home was a 2-story structure but the 2nd floor was burned down by a fire. It was sad and scary. Today, we almost lose the 1st floor. 

It was nerve-wrecking.

Here's what happened. Me and my family were teasing and discussing about different things when suddenly, we heard a sparkle, from what I hear, it's 2 cats fighting over something, then suddenly, the fan that we're using was turned off. 

My brother, Israel, went to the living room to check what's happening. I stayed calm as I don't see or anticipate any danger. Then I heard him shout repeatedly "Sunog", then, my mom and I immediately rush to the living room to check and a fire from our electric switch welcomed us. 

I didn't know what to do. I was afraid that it might consume our whole house. 

I tried to pick up a drum of water and bring it next to the burning switch for a quick access to the water, but since it's an electric switch, pouring water might not be the best idea, so I waited for the go signal on what to do. 

My mom rushed in and out trying to bring as much as she can, my little brother, Egypt picked up the dogs for safety. My dad ran outside to call the firefighters. While waiting for help, my brother and I tried to pick up our valuables, the gadgets and some other things. I didn't bring much as I'm hoping that it will die out. 

We were shouting at each other as we give instructions for each other. People starts gathering outside our house. There are kind-hearted people that provides help, they went in and check what's wrong, we're assisting each other just to kill and prevent the fire from spreading. An old man also gave us a hand by providing a long water host that we can attach to the faucet. 

It's hard to look at it. I don't want to lose a home. 

After back and fort, the fire went from a chair-sized fire to a candle light fire. Someone helped us by cutting the wires so it won't spread through it. The firefighters took the Switch so they can analyze it and find out what happened.

It was fast-paced action. I managed to go to work though but I have never imagined myself in such situation, I never thought that losing our home, my family, my everything can be this frightening.

I was writing this piece few months back and I'm can't help myself but to tear a little. This is traumatizing. 

The good thing is God didn't let this slipped through. 

//BurninUp
//sebajisoka