Minsan sa buhay natin, tatanungin tayo ng kaibigan natin ng "Anong nagustuhan mo sa kanya?" Actually, na-me-mental block ako sa mga ganyang tanong. Di ako makasagot, na-uutal at gustong palitan yung topic. Siguro kasi, hindi kaya ng utak ko sagutin kasi yung puso ko lang ang nakaka-alam. Ha? Hakdog. Pero seriously, I don't know how to answer that question. Maybe my answer will depend on who's asking. If it's a churchmate, I can say that I fell in love with her because I can see her passion for Christ. If I'm talking to my workmates, I can say that she really does well in finances and budgeting, she even has her own business. If I'm giggling with kids, I can say because she has a pretty face. If I'm having conversations with adults, I can tell them that she cooks really well. If I'm brainstorming with designers, I can say that she's amazingly creative. Apparently, there's no short answer to the question and I'm not a fan of talking about a story without context. So, if someone asked me that question, I'll answer with another question. "Do you have some extra time?", because I'll tell my story from the beginning. I'll start with how we were childhood friends and churchmates and to becoming co-leaders with a youth group, being best friends, how I fell in love with you to the day that we became official. But the truth is, it's hard to define this love with the limited words that we have. I saw that beautiful face of yours and I was amazed by your passion for dancing and teaching the kids. Later on, I figure out your passions and long-standing prayers, your innocence and how deep your love can be. There are so many things that I love about you and up to this day, I'm still learning about you and falling in love day by day.
A week ago, I rode this tricycle after long hours of work in the office. It was around 12:30an to 1am, the driver is a 50-ish man with a very old and seems scrappy tricycle. I was excited to go home to rest but while on the road I'm doing my stuff on my phone, checking the list of things that I should do once I arrived home and preparing for the fare. I noticed that the driver is acting weird, he's stomping the breaks repeatedly while we're alone in the road, he's driving very slow and he's out of the lane. I was annoyed, thinking that the driver might be sleepy or drunk but I remained patient until I reached my destination, home. Yesterday, I came across the same driver. Same old 50-ish man with a scrappy tricycle and has the same way of driving, stomping the breaks repeatedly and driving very slow. His driving really irritates me. You know, his tricycle is slightly covered by tarpaulins, but then the rain started to pour out - and it changes the way I see him. He parked the vehicle on the side of the road and picked tools from his box and fix the covers. A few minutes passed by and there's no progress, I see the struggle in his face and at the moment I realized that I'm being serviced by one of the most caring drivers in town. I noticed that he's soaking wet and he still make sure that I'm not going to be wet as well even if I told him multiple times that I'm all good. He didn't care about his own because he got someone to take care of. I realized that he's the only one who did that, other drivers just drive fast to my destination to avoid the rain. I felt sadness over what happened. I felt the guilt of judging him. This scenario made me realize a lot of things, including the thought that this man is driving late at night to provide to his family despite his age and condition and my judgment, is evil and unfair. He doesn't deserve this. I say a little blessing before leaving the tricycle. I presented my warm appreciation of what he did and paid a little extra. //Judgementer //sebajisoka
I'm finally free from a roller coaster ride with my team. It's been 1 year and 4 months since we met our team leader and new teammates. There were ups and, there are so many downs. There were fights and misunderstandings but for some reason, I enjoy being with them. There were few who left but sticking around is our mantra. I just wanted to say thank you for the laughs and the drama For the new songs that you introduce For the chismis and our inside jokes For standing with me For sharing your food at lunch For trusting me with your stories and experiences Thank you for giving me a new perspective on life and I'm sorry for my attitude at times. If there's anyone that I hurt, I hope that you'll forgive me. The memories that we share will stay in my mind and heart for a long time. Cheers to you, pals! See you around, I guess? Ano, Frankie's?
I'm still in a mystery, wondering why you chose me Up until now, it amazes me just thinking about it You changed the thought that I have that I'm unlovable and that no one can love me You looked beyond my flaws and my unbearable imperfection You accepted the ugliness in me and inspires me to be better You're so wonderful and I know in myself that I don't deserve a kind of woman like you. But even though I hesitate and struggle with that thought I don't know if I can but I proceed with my life without Thank you for staying here with me and for taking care of me. There were days that I loved you less and there were days that I loved you more, but I want to assure you that this love will never fade even if the stars collide and the world ends.
I may write you hundreds and thousands of love letters, using every word that exists to define this emotional state, but my mind is limited and even if there are no more words to say, please know that my love will stay.
We never knew time would fly this fast, it seems like I just fell in love with you. I can still remember vividly the day that you called me "bebs" and it still makes me really really happy. We're still young, thinking of fun and games Until life hits us in the face When expectation rises up left and right It's not going to be easy But there's no other way but to fight I may not be able to keep my promises in the past But keep in mind that my love is real and by His grace, it won't change I just have some issues with my life and I know that you have yours too but as long as we have each other, there's always a reason to stay and be strong. I know that I'm all over the place and I guess what I'm trying to say is that time may run fast as it can but my love for you will stay forever. In the past 4 years, we know that God is here and will always be there for us. I will always be grateful to him for showing us each other. Thank you for staying with me ha. I never thought that someone will love me this much. Thank you kasi di ka nag-sasawa kahit na ang-gulo gulo ko minsan at sobrang pasaway and I'm sorry kasi I'm such a mess, a man with many issues. Thank you for taking care of me and for being hard-working and for being simply beautiful in every way. You never fail to amaze me every time I discover things that I never knew about you. You're such a wonderful human being to the point that I asked God why He gave me you. You're always here in my heart and in my prayers and I hope and pray that as we grow older, our relationship will go deeper and our eyes will witness God's faithfulness in our lives. Let's make Jesus the center of our relationship and may we find ourselves in the center of His will. I love you so much! Happy 17th!
Last week, our office's email was bombarded by announcements. Why? Well. There will be a mini-concert. A local band will visit the office and will serenade us with their hit songs. Ben&Ben I knew some of their songs, Maybe The Night and of course, Kathang Isip but for the sake of singing along, I searched for their other songs and found out that my girlfriend had a favorite song from them. Leaves. I checked their Spotify playlist and listened to their top songs, including Leaves which is a great song, then I was amazed to discover that they are also the ones behind the song, Pagtingin. Then, they played their music, their hit songs, and Christmas song, Bibingka. We sing along with them and it was a moment in our lives.
They were amazing, to be honest. There's something about their vibes and their words that inspire us. They allow us to feel that emotion.
I really feel bad that I just became a fan but I'm so glad that I'm able to meet them in person and watch one of their jams.
And it's been few days now, but their playlist is on repeat. //Araw-Araw //sebajisoka
I'm starting to get hopeless and helpless. I said previously that I wanted to make you happy. That's what I've been doing, but I'm really bad at saving and aiming for that happiness and that goal that we both want. It's undeniable that pressure circulates over me and it pains me that I can't do anything about it. I know myself and I'm not sure how can I overcome things. I tried several things to make changes in my life for a better me. But I can't live up to the expectation, my own expectation. It seems like for every failed attempt to be better, I'm sinking down the ground, looking vulnerable. And seeing people succeed, reaching their goals, getting married, having a family, make me really happy and really sad in sync. I mean, I, beyond any doubt, am happy about their lives and their success but at the same time, how can they do that? Why am I not like that? What are they doing that I'm not doing? Insecurities scattered all over the floor and thoughts of not being enough skyrockets. I hope that you're willing to wait as I pull myself together and figure things out. I hope for more patience and understanding.
